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I've been feeling really happy and contented over the last few months. And I in my over-analytic way began to wonder why..., why now? I reflected and attributed to a number of things.
Continue reading "Change is so hard and pointless at the beginning" »
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
On Monday evening, I finished reading John Connolly's "The Book of Lost Things". I found myself welling up as I read the last few pages...beautiful, poignant and full of yearning ....
As a child, my mother had a collection of Agatha Christie novels that awoke a lifelong passion in me for crime fiction. My tastes have changed alot since then...now I prefer the more gritty realism and black humour of writers like John Connolly, Michael Connelly, Harlan Coben, and Elizabeth George.
But I remember in one of Agatha Christie's non-crime books (I think it was her autobiography) she referred to the purpose of one's life. She made the interesting point that sometimes our life purpose is just to turn up and be there, maybe to say something encouraging that can transform someone's life. I mean, if you think about it, sometimes you just want someone to do something simple for you. But we have this grandiose idea that our life purpose must be as public as the Dalai Lama. His message is spreading kindness...something we can all do every day.
Laura Berman Fortgang in her "Now What? Life Blueprint" programme/book points our that our life purpose/blueprint is often under our nose. What do people come to you for? What do people say to you "oh, you should do that". They are often skills/qualities that you can do so effortlessly and easily that they hardly seem like talents...One clue to these is that you make it look really really easy...
Have you ever thought about changing careers? Have you ever seen people doing something on the TV and thought "I'd love to do that" only to be immediately interrupted by the voice in your head telling you that you could never make a living from that, that you are not GOOD ENOUGH! Yep, that's the biggie isn't it? and of course it's an immediate comparison with someone who has 20 years more experience than you and actually you probably are not as skilled as that person.
On the basis of that, you should have stopped attempting that whole walking/talking lark around 3 years old. I mean adults could talk so much better than you...
In that famous scene in "On the Waterfront", Marlon Brando pleads that "he could have been a contender". If you had gotten everything you needed, what would YOU be a contender for? I reckon that I could have gone to Oxford (like my childhood heroine Vera Brittain) and had a first class honours degree. The reality, alas, was rather more mundane. In the west of Ireland in th 1970's/1980's Oxford degrees were not much of a possiblity.
So now if you could have any career you wanted, what would you be? Honestly? The chances are it's a dream that you have had for a long time...so I challenge you today...find someone who is doing your dream job and ask them how they got there...and then explore ways you could begin to get into that world...Please don't immediately start explaining how it's not practical.. if this was a romantic relationship...you are flirting not planning to get married. Go on, flirt a little. Be amazed by the doors that begin to open...
Every Friday I have a little routine. I go to the local shop and purchase a copy of the Irish Times (for the jobs, you know) and Now. For those of you not familiar with Now, it's a celebrity gossip magazine full of interesting information about how much Victoria Beckham really weighs (7 stone apparently - about a bag of spuds), who is lurving who in Big Brother (just about everyone) and how to dress like a soap star. My brother in law has read through this and commented on how nasty women are to each other and how trivial the information is. I then point out thoughtfully that at least this is about PEOPLE. Men think that sports are serious and that's just a GAME. Apparently, it's serious to spend hours discussing whether or not it was worth paying X millions for some twit to move to another football club but NOT serious to find out if Kate and Pete are on or off. I mean, really? And of course the biting, kicking, gouging and general assaults on a playing pitch are NOT cruelty?
I find it difficult to explain my love affair with this magazine. Most of the people in it would ever be individuals I'd admire or want to emulate. To be honest, their lifestyle sounds like my idea of hell. The best example I came across of the mentality of a lot of the celebrities was the one who said (with all seriousness) that she couldn't imagine a life where she wouldn't be photographed all the time. Could be difficult for her later on! I love the problem page (always my favourite section of most women's magazines) and just generally enjoy the whole thing. My excuse is that it's brain candy. And that it's counterbalanced by the Irish Times. It's sort of like getting a big bag of M & M's and a diet 7up. Does that make sense?
